2 posts tagged “trap neuter release”

Cat rescue is such a heartbreaking job.  Especially if you love kittycats like I do.  It is very physically hard work, there is a lot involved with finding the colony, setting the trap, and most importantly, checking it really frequently to see if it worked.  Then, it's emotionally difficult when you do trap anybody, because the reality is:  you still have to find a rescue organization who will take the babies, and you have to find a vet who has an early morning spay appointment, or who is kind and caring enough to make room for you.  If I can't find a spay appointment for Friday, I'm not sure what I'll do.  Try to make an appointment for saturday?  Take her to (don't say it) Animal Control and have her euthanized?  Let her loose again, unspayed?  She'll never get in a trap again if I do the latter, so it's almost more humane to have her euthanized, although... none of the solutions are great.  I have to hope for pity and kindness and understanding.  And then I will probably have to shell out a hundred and fifty bucks or so.

I caught the momma cat tonight, but she is wild and full of fear.  I feel sad for her babies, because I have no idea where they are, and I'm sure they are terrified and alone and ... alone.  I have to catch them too, or the feral cat colony will keep growing.  I feel sad for momma cat; in a terrible cage, no food or water (in case they can spay her tomorrow, no food or water before surgery), unfamiliar place, terrifying car ride, awful human carrying her in the cage, setting her up on two chairs in the basement.  More of a crawlspace, really, but keeping her off the floor keeps her dry and out of her own poo if she has to go, and there is a door to the space so she is safe from any predators, and it is dark and cool and mercifully quiet down there.

I feel like a monster, doing this.  It is so heartwrenching every time.  The cats don't understand.  I AM THE ENEMY!   I know that having her spayed and releasing her is not a happy-fuzzy-feel-good ending, but it is the best life she can have at this point.  Better than having endless litters of kittens and being hungry all the time. Or dead.

I know I am doing the right thing, but man, it breaks my heart. I weep for the feral cats of the world.  I do my best, my friends, and I know my best is not enough.  I love kitties too much.  I hope momma cat forgives me. 

Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me.

Remember when I rescued Fatbutt and her brothers, Coal and Gus, AKA the "Gutter Gang?"