Dirtbag Tea Party

Yeah, but can I get that at the Target Pharmacy?

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Fri, 16 May 2008 16:02:16 -0400

Me: So, I'm quitting this amitriptyline. The side effects are severe weight gain, loss of sexual desire, and possible suicidal thoughts. It's like a pill that ruins your life!

Him: Yeah, I don't blame you.

Me: Where's the drug that has good side effects? Where's the one that makes you skinny, horny and euphoric?

Him: They call that "cocaine."

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Meme me me me me me me omg just kill me already

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Wed, 14 May 2008 13:16:27 -0400

Danielle tagged me to do this meme. Since I am right now hopped up on a frothy mix of amitriptyline, acetaminophen and desogestrel/ethinyl estradiol, stoned beyond recognition and bemoaning my aching gut from the colonoscopy I had Monday, I had no choice but to comply. Please note: I've taken Danielle's post word for word and just changed details. FYI. I am a frothy chemical soup!!!

Total Number of Books I’ve Owned:
See, I knew that you were going to bust me as a hoarder! Since I seem to move or renovate every few years, I like to trade in or sell books as much as possible. This would have to be a gigantic fucking guess. And since I’ve been an avid reader since I was in frilly panties, I’m going to guess 8,002. I’ve owned 8,002 books in my my life. Please note: that is one more than D. Here begins the one-up-man-ship. One. Up. Man. Ship. See, that's funny to me. Stoned.

Wait - are we supposed to include beastiality?

The Last Book I Bought:
Some Dumb Bullshit: The Same Book I've Written For the Last Decade by Chuck Palahniuk. I'm not even going to bother spelling his name right. I’m about nineteen pages into this atrocity passing itself off as entertainment. It's not even a novel. Goddamn, Chruck Pralineneck. You motherfucker.

The Last Book I Read:
The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman. Yeah, I know that’s a kid's book, but I had to read all of these books in one week for my mom. She gave them to me and asked me to read them. I guess it is part of my Little Atheist Primer series. I thought I was done with those in the `80s, but I guess not.

Five Books That Mean Something To Me:
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
In Me Own Words by Bigfoot
That Seriously Emo Comic Called Blankets by Craig Thompson

Wait, is that five yet? I'm running out of shit to name by Me.

Tag Five People and Request They Fill This Out on Their Blog:
Aw man, I'm not gonna make any of you poor sons of bitches do this. But if you want to, leave a comment in the notes here so people can go read your'n.

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Interview time!

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:26:48 -0400

I have an interview this afternoon. It's for a pretty interesting-sounding job, so I'm eager to meet the people in charge and talk to them about the position. I've got a list of questions written up so that I don't blank out when they ask me what questions I have for them. I've spent some time online looking at common interview questions, and I feel like I have a good handle on how to answer when they ask me the standard interview questions. I usually interview pretty well because I make sure to take my time, remember to breathe, and just try to smile a lot and focus on the positive.

Anyway, I have been applying for a lot of jobs. Suddenly there are a lot of things opening up, which is good news for me. I'm eager to see what's out there. I'm excited about a change. I'm feeling positive and upbeat and I think anybody who hires me is a smart cookie for realizing my potential! Yeah! WOO! Etc.

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Starting over

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:40:11 -0400

Due to some sad changes in our HR department causing some really unfortunate policies, I'm leaving my job as soon as possible. I've been here 8 years, it's time to move along. In an emotional preparation for leaving, I have cleaned out every personal item from my office.

It is incredibly cathartic to walk away from all of this. I have suffered under really bad management for a really long time, and it feels amazing to be able to finally say, "Enough."

I can't wait to find something else. I'm so excited about a change, a challenge, a new environment. I can almost taste it.

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OMGWTFKITTENZ

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Thu, 01 May 2008 10:02:45 -0400

Guess who got a bath?

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OMG kittehz!

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:49:12 -0400

I just agreed to foster and tame 8 kittens.

In breaking news, I have lost my damn mind.

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It's official:

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 22:50:58 -0400

I am making Ramen, and I just played the cat like she was a guitar.

I am officially drunk.

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Baby Goats!

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 09:34:48 -0400

My mom's goat Laila had triplets this weekend. They are all purebred Nigerian Dwarf kids, all three have blue eyes (we hope they stay that way!).

Multimedia message

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Goddamnit

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 08:41:53 -0400

The contractor showed for the hearing on Friday, which our attorney wasn't expecting him to do, which would have meant an instantaneous judgment against the contractor for the full amount.

Instead, we now have to go to court in July.

Goddamnit. The fucking dumbass won't show up on our fucking worksite, but he shows up when we fucking sue him? Fuck that mother fucker. I wish I could sue him for more than ten fucking grand, that goddamn son of a bitch.

fuck goddamn motherfucker cocksucker son of a bitch SHIT.

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Song's been stuck in my head

nobody@vox.com(styro) — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 11:46:52 -0400

Kate Nash, "Foundations"

Especially the part about eating lemons because you're bitter. I love that line and the one that follows.

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